I mourn for what waits on the horizon I rehearse for the pain that it will elicit I have slipped between the veils, And witnessed the sorrow yet to be bestowed. I grieve prematurely, Hoping to elude the full weight of grief. I bargain with gods, seeking serenity To face the event and endure To balance the void with the joy that once was, To illuminate the absence with memories of now. Despite countless rehearsals and endless goodbyes, Choked out in waking dreams, then again